If you would like to order any bows, just let me know, I'm in the process of putting together a Facebook page for the bows and things so please "like" the link on the previous post to stay up to date. :) here are some pics! Enjoy!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Flea market adventures
So, this month at the flea market got off to a rough start. We lost our slot, got moved inside to a terrible slot, made NO money Friday night, moved back outside Saturday morning and did a bit better out there....here's to hoping Sunday is a lot better!
If you would like to order any bows, just let me know, I'm in the process of putting together a Facebook page for the bows and things so please "like" the link on the previous post to stay up to date. :) here are some pics! Enjoy!
If you would like to order any bows, just let me know, I'm in the process of putting together a Facebook page for the bows and things so please "like" the link on the previous post to stay up to date. :) here are some pics! Enjoy!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Fundraising!!!
Yay! Everyone's FAVORITE type of blog post!! LOL...
We have a LOT going on right now...the "high" of being on the verge of trip #1 is wearing off...and it's time to focus on the future...trips 2 and 3!
We are so blessed to have a pretty serious grant fund for our little lady, so a big "chunk" of trip 2 is already taken care of...and...if we're SUPER lucky...possibly trip 2 is even COVERED!! Wouldn't that be pretty shibby??
But, alas, there is that 3rd trip where we BRING OUR GIRL HOME!!!!! Yay!!! Woot!!! LOL....but...we have no money for that trip...so we're hoppin' aboard the fundraising train in a BIG way over the next couple of months and with your help, and God's grace, and a LOT of hardwork...we'll get this baby girl funded and HOME!
Here is what we have going on RIGHT NOW:
*Coin Drive*
From now until April 25th (and we might do it again later but for now this is our "collection date") we will be having a coin drive for our princess, we are handing out (or mailing if you live faraway!) these cute lil sippy cups:
We have a LOT going on right now...the "high" of being on the verge of trip #1 is wearing off...and it's time to focus on the future...trips 2 and 3!
We are so blessed to have a pretty serious grant fund for our little lady, so a big "chunk" of trip 2 is already taken care of...and...if we're SUPER lucky...possibly trip 2 is even COVERED!! Wouldn't that be pretty shibby??
But, alas, there is that 3rd trip where we BRING OUR GIRL HOME!!!!! Yay!!! Woot!!! LOL....but...we have no money for that trip...so we're hoppin' aboard the fundraising train in a BIG way over the next couple of months and with your help, and God's grace, and a LOT of hardwork...we'll get this baby girl funded and HOME!
Here is what we have going on RIGHT NOW:
*Coin Drive*
From now until April 25th (and we might do it again later but for now this is our "collection date") we will be having a coin drive for our princess, we are handing out (or mailing if you live faraway!) these cute lil sippy cups:
Just fill 'er up with your spare change, and give it back on the collection date! If you live faraway, you might want to convert it into dollars or a check or something to avoid spending your life savings on shipping. :) This is something cute to get a Sunday School class in on, or for kids, etc...we've run into a lot of people wanting to do SOMETHING to help, but didn't know what, and they didn't want to feel that their help was insignificant, well...nothing you do out of the goodness of your heart will ever be insignificant to us, or to God. So, if you're interested, I'm happy to mail you one!
*Partylite Fundraiser*
I have ALWAYS loved Party Lite, ask anyone, I have a weakness for candles, they are my FAVORITE thing ever!!! So, when my friend Drea approached me with this idea, I was so thrilled!!! We get HALF of all the sales, and Drea so kind to offer her commission to our adoption also. This will only go from April 1st-April 15th so if you would like to be part of this, please act now!!! You can email me at priscilla.morse@gmail.com for all the information, or you can go "like" THIS FACEBOOK PAGE for tons of info!!!
Last of all, we're going to be back at the flea market this weekend selling handmade crafts to help fund the adoption account. :) My goal is to make $300, please pray that we hit that or blow it out of the water big time!!!
Have a great weekend everyone!!!
Cilla
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Happy Tuesday!
Good morning everyone!! I hope you are all having an amazing day! Things are going well around here, our craft auction did much better than I expected, thanks to a couple of very generous friends. I don't know if they would want to be "called out" by name for what they have done for our precious girl, but I would just like to say thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart I will never be able to show enough gratitude for how you've helped up get our sweetie home!
Over half of the auction items haven't been "claimed" and paid for yet, but I'm hoping that people are just busy, I'll give it a few more days, then I'll try to track down the person who bid before the winner and see if they want the items. :)
So...in other non-fundraising news:
WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR OUR DOSSIER!!
We're going next Wednesday (earliest possible day we can go because of hubby's work schedule) to Nashville to get everything apostilled, then off it goes to our agency, and then we wait for a travel date!!! I'm so excited! We've worked so hard to get to this point, and so many people have helped us get to this point and for the first time in a LONG time....I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel!
I'm back in my little proverbial "sweat shop" because we're going back to the flea market this weekend. I have a lot more variety this time, but I still have quite a bit of work to do! We made $600 last month, but a lot of that was from other items we had for sale, donated items, etc...so I have a goal of $300 for this weekend, $100 a day (Fri, Sat, Sun)...but deep down I'm hoping to go way over my goal! LOL
That's about it for now! I need to get back to the crafting!
Love, Cilla <3
Over half of the auction items haven't been "claimed" and paid for yet, but I'm hoping that people are just busy, I'll give it a few more days, then I'll try to track down the person who bid before the winner and see if they want the items. :)
So...in other non-fundraising news:
WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR OUR DOSSIER!!
We're going next Wednesday (earliest possible day we can go because of hubby's work schedule) to Nashville to get everything apostilled, then off it goes to our agency, and then we wait for a travel date!!! I'm so excited! We've worked so hard to get to this point, and so many people have helped us get to this point and for the first time in a LONG time....I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel!
I'm back in my little proverbial "sweat shop" because we're going back to the flea market this weekend. I have a lot more variety this time, but I still have quite a bit of work to do! We made $600 last month, but a lot of that was from other items we had for sale, donated items, etc...so I have a goal of $300 for this weekend, $100 a day (Fri, Sat, Sun)...but deep down I'm hoping to go way over my goal! LOL
That's about it for now! I need to get back to the crafting!
Love, Cilla <3
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Craft Auction Is Over!!!
Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who participated in our craft auction! Whether you bid, or reposted the blog link, or prayed for this to be a success...you did SOMETHING to help us raise....
$379!!!!
Whoo hoo!!! I'm so excited that our auction was a hit! No we didn't hit $600 like I HOPED, and after purchasing supplies and shipping items to the winners we'll clear roughly $300 but I'm so blessed to be $300 closer to boarding that plane that will take me to meet my daughter!
So, for Tasha's 3rd birthday....she got $300 closer to coming home...I don't see that as being a coincidence AT ALL!
I will post the winners below, but I would also like to extend the following offer:
If you bid on an item and did not win it...for the next week you can opt to PURCHASE that item at the price it sold for. I will be more than happy to make duplicates of each of the items that sold during this auction, so please email me at:
priscilla.morse@gmail.com
if you would like to take me up on that offer!
Also, if the item you won requires personalization, please email me at the same address listed above and let me know what you need your purchase to say so I can get to making it!
Please allow a few weeks for shipping for most of these items, as I will be hand making them and I want your items to be the best I can possibly make them, so that might take a teeny tiny bit of extra time! :)
Please make payments to the CHIP IN button....*not* the FSP...we are using this money to fund our first trip, so we need access to the funds for visas. Please pay via chip in only, and if you're feeling generous...or just pity me...(I'm okay with either one! lol) feel free to throw in a couple extra bucks to go towards paypal fees, shipping costs, etc....that is TOTALLY up to you...I just wanted to throw the idea out there. ;)
Ok, so here it is, the winner circle! :)
__________________________
$379!!!!
Whoo hoo!!! I'm so excited that our auction was a hit! No we didn't hit $600 like I HOPED, and after purchasing supplies and shipping items to the winners we'll clear roughly $300 but I'm so blessed to be $300 closer to boarding that plane that will take me to meet my daughter!
So, for Tasha's 3rd birthday....she got $300 closer to coming home...I don't see that as being a coincidence AT ALL!
I will post the winners below, but I would also like to extend the following offer:
If you bid on an item and did not win it...for the next week you can opt to PURCHASE that item at the price it sold for. I will be more than happy to make duplicates of each of the items that sold during this auction, so please email me at:
priscilla.morse@gmail.com
if you would like to take me up on that offer!
Also, if the item you won requires personalization, please email me at the same address listed above and let me know what you need your purchase to say so I can get to making it!
Please allow a few weeks for shipping for most of these items, as I will be hand making them and I want your items to be the best I can possibly make them, so that might take a teeny tiny bit of extra time! :)
Please make payments to the CHIP IN button....*not* the FSP...we are using this money to fund our first trip, so we need access to the funds for visas. Please pay via chip in only, and if you're feeling generous...or just pity me...(I'm okay with either one! lol) feel free to throw in a couple extra bucks to go towards paypal fees, shipping costs, etc....that is TOTALLY up to you...I just wanted to throw the idea out there. ;)
Ok, so here it is, the winner circle! :)
__________________________
Monkey Pillow Case:
Winner: CLNrun
Winning Bid: $18
Fairy Pillowcase:
Winner: Marj
Winning Bid: $11
Fabric wrapped bow holder:
Winner: Sara
Winning Bid: $25
Dry Erase Board:
Winner: Misty Severns
Winning bid $20
Letters:
Winner: Renee
Winning Bid: $30
Art Display:
Winner: Monica
Winning Bid: $30
Handmade Coasters:
Winner: CLNrun
Winning Bid: $18
World Map Art
Winner: Molly
Winning Bid: $22
Chore Chart
Winner: Bonnie Miller
Winning Bid: $11
Door Knob Hanger:
Winner: Jonana
Winning Bid: $7
Initial Art
Winner: Monica
Winning Bid: $30
Heart shaped crayon art
Winner: Sarah
Winning Bid: $20
Crayon art:
Winner: Kelly Grove
Winning Bid: $15
Personalized (Name) Wall Art
Winner: BELLTIFFANY
Winning Bid: $14
Plant Markers:
Winner: Teresa Hagar
Winning Bid: $20
Magnetic Board:
Winner: Ginaology
Winning Bid: $40
Kitchen Towels:
Winner: CLNrun
Winning Bid: $16
Adoption ornament:
Winner: Anonymous
Winning Bid: $25
Bookmarks:
Winner: The Browning Family
Winning Bid: $7
Daddy's Corner - Happy Birthday and yeah...what Mommy said..lol
Hi Natasha, It's Daddy!!!
Happy Birthday my big girl!!! You're 3 now....WOOT!!! Well, I know that mommy wrote you earlier and told you all the good stuff I was going to tell you so I won't keep you long honey but I did want to tell you that all your friends and family and your internet Aunties and Uncles :) say Happy Birthday to you and wish you all the best on YOUR day and every day. So, if you recall, daddy told you the other day that we were about $1,500 away from being able to have the money to come see you the first time. Well, thanks to your mommy's ability to make some gorgeous crafts and the generosity of some wonderful people, I am thrilled to tell you that we are down to a little over $800 away now!!!!! YAY!!!!!. Now, there is still some paperwork that needs to be filed and some minor technical hoops we need to jump through, but once we have this last chunk of money and get everything filed, we should get permission to come see you really soon after that. By the way, you got some really cool presents for your birthday and I can't wait for you to see them all. Mommy already told you about some of it so I won't repeat it but let's just say this....Who's the biggest princess ever?.....You are...that's who!!! :) Well darling, I am going to get going for now but I will write you again in a few days. Until then, know that when you're missing mommy and daddy just look to the stars and the moon and pray. And know that we are doing the same thing over here!!! I love you baby and happy birthday. You sleep well!!! Love, Daddy
Happy Birthday my big girl!!! You're 3 now....WOOT!!! Well, I know that mommy wrote you earlier and told you all the good stuff I was going to tell you so I won't keep you long honey but I did want to tell you that all your friends and family and your internet Aunties and Uncles :) say Happy Birthday to you and wish you all the best on YOUR day and every day. So, if you recall, daddy told you the other day that we were about $1,500 away from being able to have the money to come see you the first time. Well, thanks to your mommy's ability to make some gorgeous crafts and the generosity of some wonderful people, I am thrilled to tell you that we are down to a little over $800 away now!!!!! YAY!!!!!. Now, there is still some paperwork that needs to be filed and some minor technical hoops we need to jump through, but once we have this last chunk of money and get everything filed, we should get permission to come see you really soon after that. By the way, you got some really cool presents for your birthday and I can't wait for you to see them all. Mommy already told you about some of it so I won't repeat it but let's just say this....Who's the biggest princess ever?.....You are...that's who!!! :) Well darling, I am going to get going for now but I will write you again in a few days. Until then, know that when you're missing mommy and daddy just look to the stars and the moon and pray. And know that we are doing the same thing over here!!! I love you baby and happy birthday. You sleep well!!! Love, Daddy
Happy Birthday
Dear Tasha,
Your daddy is usually the one who writes you letters, but on this extra special day, your birthday, I wanted to write to you too. I'm sorry I have never directly written TO you in the past...I've never been good with words but that is no excuse, from here on out I'll be much better about writing to you, and one day very, very soon we'll be sitting together in our big comfy chair, and I'll read all of your letters to you.
It takes a lot of work to bring you home kiddo, and you are so worth the effort, and I want you to never doubt that you have ALWAYS been worth the effort, even before you came into our lives. You are a precious gift from God, and there have probably been times, a lot of times, where you have been sad or lonely or scared and you didn't understand why you felt those things, why you were where you are right now...but all of that is ending soon and you will never have to wonder "why" again. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for how you spent the first 3 years of yours, I promise you that sweet girl. You deserve so much more than the hand you've been dealt up until now, and I'll never be able to erase the past but you're future is about to be blown wide open with possibility. We just have to be a little patient right now.
I wonder if you even know what a "birthday" is...since you've never really celebrated yours. Your birthday is the day you were born, and yours is March 22nd. Today. :) Your brother Dylan was born on March 22nd too, but a few years before you...6 years before you to be exact. On your birthday, you get to be the star of the show! Your presence on this earth is celebrated by all the people who love you, because the fact that you were born made their lives so much better! I'm so sorry you're going to miss your celebration today sweetheart, but there is going to be one in your honor. You already have birthday cards, and some presents...and I bought you a Hello Kitty cupcake with a big #3 candle on top. Your baby brother Jack will probably blow out your candle for you, then he'll probably eat your cupcake, but that's ok...next year you'll get your very own cake to smash and go NUTS with...and no one can eat that one but you, the awesome birthday girl! Usually babies smash their cake on their first birthday, but in a sense, your 4th birthday WILL be your first birthday! :)
I hope that somewhere deep inside your heart you can feel how much you're loved. I know that's hard to believe when you don't get held, or kissed, and no one cuddles you while you sleep or whispers "I love you" in your ear, but it's true, you are so very loved by so many people all over the entire WORLD...I'm willing to bet that TONS more people love your sweet little face than any of us will ever know. The number of prayers sent up to heaven for you everyday are powerful, and they're working, and mountains are being moved to get you home.
We are so, so close to meeting you for the first time. But, as is the case in a lot of adoptions, money can hold people back sometimes. You probably don't know what money is...it's paper, that's all, just pieces of paper that happen to have a value attached to them...the problem is...mommy and daddy don't have enough "pieces of paper" to come to your country right now! But...we only need a teeny tiny bit more, then we'll be on our way!
I love you sweet girl, and there is nothing I wouldn't do to get you home as soon as possible. I know your little heart is tired, and that you're tired, and you don't feel very good right now, but we're going to get all of that taken care of really, really soon. A very nice doctor is going to fix your heart when you get home, and it will make you feel like a brand new girl! We'll get there...but for now, you stay strong for us ok? Don't give up because we're coming and your life is going to be amazing, just keeping holding on a little while longer honey.
With all my heart,
Mommy
Your daddy is usually the one who writes you letters, but on this extra special day, your birthday, I wanted to write to you too. I'm sorry I have never directly written TO you in the past...I've never been good with words but that is no excuse, from here on out I'll be much better about writing to you, and one day very, very soon we'll be sitting together in our big comfy chair, and I'll read all of your letters to you.
It takes a lot of work to bring you home kiddo, and you are so worth the effort, and I want you to never doubt that you have ALWAYS been worth the effort, even before you came into our lives. You are a precious gift from God, and there have probably been times, a lot of times, where you have been sad or lonely or scared and you didn't understand why you felt those things, why you were where you are right now...but all of that is ending soon and you will never have to wonder "why" again. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for how you spent the first 3 years of yours, I promise you that sweet girl. You deserve so much more than the hand you've been dealt up until now, and I'll never be able to erase the past but you're future is about to be blown wide open with possibility. We just have to be a little patient right now.
I wonder if you even know what a "birthday" is...since you've never really celebrated yours. Your birthday is the day you were born, and yours is March 22nd. Today. :) Your brother Dylan was born on March 22nd too, but a few years before you...6 years before you to be exact. On your birthday, you get to be the star of the show! Your presence on this earth is celebrated by all the people who love you, because the fact that you were born made their lives so much better! I'm so sorry you're going to miss your celebration today sweetheart, but there is going to be one in your honor. You already have birthday cards, and some presents...and I bought you a Hello Kitty cupcake with a big #3 candle on top. Your baby brother Jack will probably blow out your candle for you, then he'll probably eat your cupcake, but that's ok...next year you'll get your very own cake to smash and go NUTS with...and no one can eat that one but you, the awesome birthday girl! Usually babies smash their cake on their first birthday, but in a sense, your 4th birthday WILL be your first birthday! :)
I hope that somewhere deep inside your heart you can feel how much you're loved. I know that's hard to believe when you don't get held, or kissed, and no one cuddles you while you sleep or whispers "I love you" in your ear, but it's true, you are so very loved by so many people all over the entire WORLD...I'm willing to bet that TONS more people love your sweet little face than any of us will ever know. The number of prayers sent up to heaven for you everyday are powerful, and they're working, and mountains are being moved to get you home.
We are so, so close to meeting you for the first time. But, as is the case in a lot of adoptions, money can hold people back sometimes. You probably don't know what money is...it's paper, that's all, just pieces of paper that happen to have a value attached to them...the problem is...mommy and daddy don't have enough "pieces of paper" to come to your country right now! But...we only need a teeny tiny bit more, then we'll be on our way!
I love you sweet girl, and there is nothing I wouldn't do to get you home as soon as possible. I know your little heart is tired, and that you're tired, and you don't feel very good right now, but we're going to get all of that taken care of really, really soon. A very nice doctor is going to fix your heart when you get home, and it will make you feel like a brand new girl! We'll get there...but for now, you stay strong for us ok? Don't give up because we're coming and your life is going to be amazing, just keeping holding on a little while longer honey.
With all my heart,
Mommy
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A tough lesson in life that one has to learn is that not everybody wishes you well. - Dan Rather
Life lessons. I've learned quite a few over the past few months I've been on this adoption journey.
I've learned how amazingly beautiful the hearts of some people are, and I've learned the lengths to which someone will go to hurt another human being.
I've learned, first hand, that good friends and hard to come by...and when you find them, you hold on for dear life, and I've learned that some people need to be let go, and that some people should be allowed to hang around, but they just need to be ignored.
I've learned that I'm not the tough-as-nails girl I project myself as. No. That's not true, and I want to be 100% honest in this post. I've *accepted* that I'm not the tough-as-nails girl I project myself as. I didn't, learn that, I knew it all along. I'm learning to accept that I'm really, really fragile...I don't like it...but I'm accepting it.
I've learned that bullies exist, even in adulthood...and that when they "pounce", it hurts just as bad as it did in 6th grade.
I've learned that I NEED A BACK BONE...I really do....seriously.
I've learned that people change, and I have, and I continue to do so. I'm scared of the person I'm becoming, not because it's bad, but because it's different, and I worry that as I shed the skin of the former "me" that I'm going to inadvertently shed the people from my past as well, people I care about, but people the person I'm becoming can't in good conscience keep in my life.
I've learned that social networking is a blessing, and a curse...
I'll stop there for a minute.
Let's talk about FACEBOOK, shall we?
I've learned that I'm a bad, bad facebooker. I guess I missed the user manual that facebook mailed out or something because it seems like some people have a little bit of an "issue" with my facebook etiquette. I guess I need to explain it, so people can stop feeling....offended? Annoyed? Unimportant? (Feel free to enter whatever word may apply to you.)
Here is it...are you ready?
I delete people from facebook
(GASP!)
Yes it's true, about once or twice a year, I go through my facebook friends list, and weed out the people I don't interact with. It makes no difference to me if we went to kindergarten together, or if we were "besties" in grade school, if you're related to me somehow, or if I met you at a concert one time and thought you were cool. In my facebook world...everyone is equal. I kind of have this personal policy, if I haven't messaged, commented, or "liked" anything on your page in 3 months...or if you haven't done the same on mine...or if your status updates are so depressing they make me want a lithium IV...you're off the friends list.
Does that mean I wouldn't say hi to you on the street? NO.
Does that mean I hate you? NO.
Does it mean ANYTHING other than "we don't communicate on facebook"? NO!!!!
Maybe some people feel good having 1500 friends, and 46 likes everytime they post about something...I'm not that person. I like a tight little community of people I enjoy communicating with, that I feel motivated by, who I find interesting, and who I want to either built strong friendships/relationships with...or who I want to keep strong relationships/friendships with. That's all, and honestly...if we're going to real honest...if I wanted to add Charles Manson to my friends list and make him my new BFF, now that would be my choice and no one elses, now wouldn't it? If I wanted to continue to be facebook friends with someone who went out of their way to completely screw me over...that too would be my business and no one else's, right?
I'm really, really tired of people putting social networking up on a pedestal...like it *defines* who they are. It's really sad, and I think it should be listed as a psychological condition. "Facebook syndrome". Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
So, if I deleted you off of facebook, and you're a little...how can I say this..."pissy" about it...think about how much interaction we had, I bet it was little to none. Now, think about your motivation for wanting to be on there in the first place...you kinda just like being "all up in" people's business don't ya? Yeah...I kinda figured. :)
So to wrap the facebook "discussion" up....if you want to be friends, like REAL friends, like "it wouldn't be weird if I called you and asked you if you wanted to meet for coffee" friends...please, add me back if I deleted you, and I'll be the FIRST to apologize for my mistake. But, if you just want to be nosey, and judgemental, and have fuel for gossip or whatever...stay away...I don't need that garbage. Also, if you have an issue with who I choose to add/delete/keep/deny/accept/whatever with regard to facebook....get over yourself, seriously...stop being a facebook nazi. If someone is on my list that you don't think should be, it's not your business, and I have my reasons, and they don't concern you...so let's leave it at that.
OK...that's off my chest, and I'm moving on.
Back to life lessons. I've learned to that The X Files had it right afterall:
Trust No One
Well...maybe Mulder was a little over dramatic. I'll go with "trust very few". As the title of this blog states...not everyone in your life wishes you well. There are people who attach themselves to you just to bring you down, because in some sick way that builds them up. There are people who look for opportunities to hurt you, because it makes them feel good. There are people who want to bully you, or boss you around, and the list goes on. Be careful of who you let into your circle, and when someone shows their "true colors", don't be ashamed of following your heart and doing what you feel is right. If you cut people out the first time they hurt you, that's your right, your choice, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong. If you are a big believer in second chances, don't let anyone judge you for that. If you intermingle the two because you "read" each situation individually before deciding the level of involvement you'll let someone have in your life...that's your call! As long as you aren't causing hurt, or harm to your heart...handle your life the way YOU see fit...because you're the one living it, not someone else...and odds are the person wasting their time judging you, should really be standing in front of a mirror doing quite a bit of reflecting on their own life, their own decisions.
Be careful of what you say, and who you say it to. I'm always guilty of this one...the "old me" was overly trusting of people who appeared warm and caring...wolves in sheeps clothing so to speak. Don't make the same mistakes I have. Putting up a wall around your heart isn't necessarily a bad thing...if you eventually let it be torn down by the right people.
I've had a horrible week, maybe one of the worst of my life. No, definitely the worst of my life. For the first time ever, I felt complete hopelessness, and that my friends is the worst feeling in the world...I think I would have preferred being stabbed in the eye with a spork. But, as problem after problem presented itself, and as issue piled up on top of issue, and as person after person broke my heart, tore me down, hurt my feelings, judged me, and so on...I did something that I didn't think I was capable of...I pressed on. I said the things I always say when I've felt a bit "defeated" in the past...
I'm done.
I can't do this.
I give up.
But you know what...I was just saying them, this time...I wasn't FEELING them....
As I told myself I was "done" I was in the process of making more hairbows for our flea market fundraiser.
As I cried my eyes out saying "I can't do this"...I was putting sweet little Tasha's picture on sippy cups we're distributing for a coin drive.
As I, in complete frustration after being hurt by someone I care so much for, said "I give up"...the wheels in my head were turning...trying to come up with a "Plan C" for a fundraiser for my sweet girl.
The final life lesson of the day: I will let no one, and nothing get in the way of my daughter coming home. Period.
Hurt me, betray me, deceive me, judge me, lie to me, steal from me, bully me, do anything you want to me...but you won't break me, and you'll never stop me. I will bring my daughter home.
The truth of it is, I can't do it alone, I need help, and it's a very, very scary feeling to rely on the kindness of others to help save your child's life...and the punch in gut when you realize that some of the help offered is conditional, or just not coming from the desire in someone's heart to help a sweet little orphan...it hurts...bad. But, you have to pull yourself up by your boot straps and keep pressing on. There is no room for anyone to make anything in this process about them. We are so grateful for the selfless love, support, and help we've received from people, but our motto has been from the beginning, the minute someone makes our adoption process about THEM and NOT about Tasha...they're out of the picture. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but if you volunteer to help bring her home, you need to have the understanding that you're doing something for HER, not for me, not for David, not to make yourself look good, not to feel good about yourself, not to have a power trip, not to have a gateway to look down your nose on people, but to HELP NATASHA...that's it, that is ALL this process is about. On that topic there is no room for discussion. It pains me to even need to point that out, but given certain situations that have transpired that include a handful of people I consider as friends...I just really needed to clear the air, put that out there, and if it's taken as insulting, it isn't meant to be...it's just a harsh reality...so please only see it as such.
I'm working hard to secure funding for my daughter to come home. Right now we're doing a coin drive, we made the cutest sippy cups with her picture, and we're mailing them or handing them out to people who want them, it's going to be really fun. We are re-inventing our "big" fundraiser...we aren't exactly sure WHAT we're going to do...so we'll keep you posted. :) In the mean time, if you would like to have a sippy cup...let me know I'll get one out to you!
I have said everything that was in my heart. I'm sure there will be backlash, but, sometimes things need to be said. If nothing else, I feel like I have a clean canvas on which to paint my daughters adoption story, and that's really all that matters to me.
I've learned how amazingly beautiful the hearts of some people are, and I've learned the lengths to which someone will go to hurt another human being.
I've learned, first hand, that good friends and hard to come by...and when you find them, you hold on for dear life, and I've learned that some people need to be let go, and that some people should be allowed to hang around, but they just need to be ignored.
I've learned that I'm not the tough-as-nails girl I project myself as. No. That's not true, and I want to be 100% honest in this post. I've *accepted* that I'm not the tough-as-nails girl I project myself as. I didn't, learn that, I knew it all along. I'm learning to accept that I'm really, really fragile...I don't like it...but I'm accepting it.
I've learned that bullies exist, even in adulthood...and that when they "pounce", it hurts just as bad as it did in 6th grade.
I've learned that I NEED A BACK BONE...I really do....seriously.
I've learned that people change, and I have, and I continue to do so. I'm scared of the person I'm becoming, not because it's bad, but because it's different, and I worry that as I shed the skin of the former "me" that I'm going to inadvertently shed the people from my past as well, people I care about, but people the person I'm becoming can't in good conscience keep in my life.
I've learned that social networking is a blessing, and a curse...
I'll stop there for a minute.
Let's talk about FACEBOOK, shall we?
I've learned that I'm a bad, bad facebooker. I guess I missed the user manual that facebook mailed out or something because it seems like some people have a little bit of an "issue" with my facebook etiquette. I guess I need to explain it, so people can stop feeling....offended? Annoyed? Unimportant? (Feel free to enter whatever word may apply to you.)
Here is it...are you ready?
I delete people from facebook
(GASP!)
Yes it's true, about once or twice a year, I go through my facebook friends list, and weed out the people I don't interact with. It makes no difference to me if we went to kindergarten together, or if we were "besties" in grade school, if you're related to me somehow, or if I met you at a concert one time and thought you were cool. In my facebook world...everyone is equal. I kind of have this personal policy, if I haven't messaged, commented, or "liked" anything on your page in 3 months...or if you haven't done the same on mine...or if your status updates are so depressing they make me want a lithium IV...you're off the friends list.
Does that mean I wouldn't say hi to you on the street? NO.
Does that mean I hate you? NO.
Does it mean ANYTHING other than "we don't communicate on facebook"? NO!!!!
Maybe some people feel good having 1500 friends, and 46 likes everytime they post about something...I'm not that person. I like a tight little community of people I enjoy communicating with, that I feel motivated by, who I find interesting, and who I want to either built strong friendships/relationships with...or who I want to keep strong relationships/friendships with. That's all, and honestly...if we're going to real honest...if I wanted to add Charles Manson to my friends list and make him my new BFF, now that would be my choice and no one elses, now wouldn't it? If I wanted to continue to be facebook friends with someone who went out of their way to completely screw me over...that too would be my business and no one else's, right?
I'm really, really tired of people putting social networking up on a pedestal...like it *defines* who they are. It's really sad, and I think it should be listed as a psychological condition. "Facebook syndrome". Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
So, if I deleted you off of facebook, and you're a little...how can I say this..."pissy" about it...think about how much interaction we had, I bet it was little to none. Now, think about your motivation for wanting to be on there in the first place...you kinda just like being "all up in" people's business don't ya? Yeah...I kinda figured. :)
So to wrap the facebook "discussion" up....if you want to be friends, like REAL friends, like "it wouldn't be weird if I called you and asked you if you wanted to meet for coffee" friends...please, add me back if I deleted you, and I'll be the FIRST to apologize for my mistake. But, if you just want to be nosey, and judgemental, and have fuel for gossip or whatever...stay away...I don't need that garbage. Also, if you have an issue with who I choose to add/delete/keep/deny/accept/whatever with regard to facebook....get over yourself, seriously...stop being a facebook nazi. If someone is on my list that you don't think should be, it's not your business, and I have my reasons, and they don't concern you...so let's leave it at that.
OK...that's off my chest, and I'm moving on.
Back to life lessons. I've learned to that The X Files had it right afterall:
Trust No One
Well...maybe Mulder was a little over dramatic. I'll go with "trust very few". As the title of this blog states...not everyone in your life wishes you well. There are people who attach themselves to you just to bring you down, because in some sick way that builds them up. There are people who look for opportunities to hurt you, because it makes them feel good. There are people who want to bully you, or boss you around, and the list goes on. Be careful of who you let into your circle, and when someone shows their "true colors", don't be ashamed of following your heart and doing what you feel is right. If you cut people out the first time they hurt you, that's your right, your choice, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong. If you are a big believer in second chances, don't let anyone judge you for that. If you intermingle the two because you "read" each situation individually before deciding the level of involvement you'll let someone have in your life...that's your call! As long as you aren't causing hurt, or harm to your heart...handle your life the way YOU see fit...because you're the one living it, not someone else...and odds are the person wasting their time judging you, should really be standing in front of a mirror doing quite a bit of reflecting on their own life, their own decisions.
Be careful of what you say, and who you say it to. I'm always guilty of this one...the "old me" was overly trusting of people who appeared warm and caring...wolves in sheeps clothing so to speak. Don't make the same mistakes I have. Putting up a wall around your heart isn't necessarily a bad thing...if you eventually let it be torn down by the right people.
I've had a horrible week, maybe one of the worst of my life. No, definitely the worst of my life. For the first time ever, I felt complete hopelessness, and that my friends is the worst feeling in the world...I think I would have preferred being stabbed in the eye with a spork. But, as problem after problem presented itself, and as issue piled up on top of issue, and as person after person broke my heart, tore me down, hurt my feelings, judged me, and so on...I did something that I didn't think I was capable of...I pressed on. I said the things I always say when I've felt a bit "defeated" in the past...
I'm done.
I can't do this.
I give up.
But you know what...I was just saying them, this time...I wasn't FEELING them....
As I told myself I was "done" I was in the process of making more hairbows for our flea market fundraiser.
As I cried my eyes out saying "I can't do this"...I was putting sweet little Tasha's picture on sippy cups we're distributing for a coin drive.
As I, in complete frustration after being hurt by someone I care so much for, said "I give up"...the wheels in my head were turning...trying to come up with a "Plan C" for a fundraiser for my sweet girl.
The final life lesson of the day: I will let no one, and nothing get in the way of my daughter coming home. Period.
Hurt me, betray me, deceive me, judge me, lie to me, steal from me, bully me, do anything you want to me...but you won't break me, and you'll never stop me. I will bring my daughter home.
The truth of it is, I can't do it alone, I need help, and it's a very, very scary feeling to rely on the kindness of others to help save your child's life...and the punch in gut when you realize that some of the help offered is conditional, or just not coming from the desire in someone's heart to help a sweet little orphan...it hurts...bad. But, you have to pull yourself up by your boot straps and keep pressing on. There is no room for anyone to make anything in this process about them. We are so grateful for the selfless love, support, and help we've received from people, but our motto has been from the beginning, the minute someone makes our adoption process about THEM and NOT about Tasha...they're out of the picture. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but if you volunteer to help bring her home, you need to have the understanding that you're doing something for HER, not for me, not for David, not to make yourself look good, not to feel good about yourself, not to have a power trip, not to have a gateway to look down your nose on people, but to HELP NATASHA...that's it, that is ALL this process is about. On that topic there is no room for discussion. It pains me to even need to point that out, but given certain situations that have transpired that include a handful of people I consider as friends...I just really needed to clear the air, put that out there, and if it's taken as insulting, it isn't meant to be...it's just a harsh reality...so please only see it as such.
I'm working hard to secure funding for my daughter to come home. Right now we're doing a coin drive, we made the cutest sippy cups with her picture, and we're mailing them or handing them out to people who want them, it's going to be really fun. We are re-inventing our "big" fundraiser...we aren't exactly sure WHAT we're going to do...so we'll keep you posted. :) In the mean time, if you would like to have a sippy cup...let me know I'll get one out to you!
I have said everything that was in my heart. I'm sure there will be backlash, but, sometimes things need to be said. If nothing else, I feel like I have a clean canvas on which to paint my daughters adoption story, and that's really all that matters to me.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Daddy's Corner - It's Your Birthday Week
Hi Natasha, It's Daddy!!!
I love you baby doll. It's your birthday week and it's also your brother Dylan's birthday week too!!!. That's right, the both of you have the same birthday. How cool is that?!?!?!
We have got a lot of presents just waiting for you when you come home darling...along with presents from all of the holiday's that you've missed being with us over the last few months...but we will make up for lost time, I promise. :) We are so close to being able to come see you for the first time baby girl. We have completed our home study which is where the nice lady comes to our house to make sure it's safe for you and all that good stuff. We are just waiting for some paperwork to be filed and then we still need to do a little more fundraising. We thought we were just $600 away from being funded to be ready for our first trip out there but as it turns out, I didn't include a couple of very important things and it looks like we are $1,500 away. It's a setback to be sure, but it's one that I know in my heart we will overcome. I want to bring you home so very quickly so that you can get your heart fixed and you can be bouncing around here playing with your brother Jack and being so adorable. We have been doing a lot of fundraising. Mommy has been working day and night on making crafts to sell. We have been receiving auction items from some very nice people and that will hopefully raise some money too. It gets a little depressing at times honey that just when we think we are moving forward a couple of steps...a pothole comes along and messes things up a little bit. I don't mean to sound depressing honey. We are definitely coming for you. It's just a matter of we know how important it is to get you your heart operation so we are doing all we can to make it happen sooner than later and to know we are so close...just $1,500 away...it just gets frustrating at times. That said, I have complete faith in God and I know that with God all things are possible. I am going to get going now baby girl but I will update you on your birthday to let you know how we are doing. I love you honey and remember that when you want to think about us, just look to the moon and the stars and know that we are thinking about you too. I love you. Love, Daddy
I love you baby doll. It's your birthday week and it's also your brother Dylan's birthday week too!!!. That's right, the both of you have the same birthday. How cool is that?!?!?!
We have got a lot of presents just waiting for you when you come home darling...along with presents from all of the holiday's that you've missed being with us over the last few months...but we will make up for lost time, I promise. :) We are so close to being able to come see you for the first time baby girl. We have completed our home study which is where the nice lady comes to our house to make sure it's safe for you and all that good stuff. We are just waiting for some paperwork to be filed and then we still need to do a little more fundraising. We thought we were just $600 away from being funded to be ready for our first trip out there but as it turns out, I didn't include a couple of very important things and it looks like we are $1,500 away. It's a setback to be sure, but it's one that I know in my heart we will overcome. I want to bring you home so very quickly so that you can get your heart fixed and you can be bouncing around here playing with your brother Jack and being so adorable. We have been doing a lot of fundraising. Mommy has been working day and night on making crafts to sell. We have been receiving auction items from some very nice people and that will hopefully raise some money too. It gets a little depressing at times honey that just when we think we are moving forward a couple of steps...a pothole comes along and messes things up a little bit. I don't mean to sound depressing honey. We are definitely coming for you. It's just a matter of we know how important it is to get you your heart operation so we are doing all we can to make it happen sooner than later and to know we are so close...just $1,500 away...it just gets frustrating at times. That said, I have complete faith in God and I know that with God all things are possible. I am going to get going now baby girl but I will update you on your birthday to let you know how we are doing. I love you honey and remember that when you want to think about us, just look to the moon and the stars and know that we are thinking about you too. I love you. Love, Daddy
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Ramblings of an over tired mama...
I'm sorry I haven't blogged much recently. I've been in a not-so-good place...worrying about Tasha, worrying about the adoption, worrying about funding...staying up til all hours working on crafts to sell...to be honest, its been a rough couple of weeks. When you know the staggering amount of money you need to bring your child home, and day after day you see that your FSP, and chip in, aren't moving...its terrifying. You wonder if your child's story has been forgotten, you lie in bed and think of ways to bring in money...I'm just running on fumes and my heart is aching for my sweet girl. I want her home so badly... I want her to sleep in a warm bed, I want her in a home filled with happiness and love...I'm just running our of ideas...does anyone have any suggestions? We're going to try our hand at holding a coin drive...hopefully that will help!
If anyone is interested in hair bows and other cute crafty stuff, check out our other blog at http://natashashairbowtique.blogspot.com
Also don't forget about the craft auction!! It ends Thursday! You can find all the cool items ip for auction on the post below this one! ;)
Sorry this was kind of a Debbie Downer post...but, I think it's important to show all sides of the process...which includes the icky feelings. :/
Here are some pics to make this post less depressing. ;p
-------------
Pic descriptions (they might end up being out of order...but I'm on my phone and I'm to tired to
Try to fix it!
I found a panda bag at walmart! Score! This will be our little ladies diaper bag :)
I started making tutu's to sell...I lo e them!!
I'm going to give these fishy bows a try!
These are going to end up being initial bow holders. They were heavily requested at the last flea market...so hopefully they sell!!
I found fabric with Russian nesting dolls on it!! Baby girl (so far) has a diaper wipe care with this print :)
I finally got the NCAA basketball for pat Summitt to sign! Whoo hoo! :)
I made super cute admission tickets for our "un"birthday fundraise' ;)
------
I'm falling asleep so that's all for now, love you all!
If anyone is interested in hair bows and other cute crafty stuff, check out our other blog at http://natashashairbowtique.blogspot.com
Also don't forget about the craft auction!! It ends Thursday! You can find all the cool items ip for auction on the post below this one! ;)
Sorry this was kind of a Debbie Downer post...but, I think it's important to show all sides of the process...which includes the icky feelings. :/
Here are some pics to make this post less depressing. ;p
-------------
Pic descriptions (they might end up being out of order...but I'm on my phone and I'm to tired to
Try to fix it!
I found a panda bag at walmart! Score! This will be our little ladies diaper bag :)
I started making tutu's to sell...I lo e them!!
I'm going to give these fishy bows a try!
These are going to end up being initial bow holders. They were heavily requested at the last flea market...so hopefully they sell!!
I found fabric with Russian nesting dolls on it!! Baby girl (so far) has a diaper wipe care with this print :)
I finally got the NCAA basketball for pat Summitt to sign! Whoo hoo! :)
I made super cute admission tickets for our "un"birthday fundraise' ;)
------
I'm falling asleep so that's all for now, love you all!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Craft Auction: It's Crunch Time!
The craft auction is ending in 11 days!!! My posts about it have been kind of scattered, so hopefully this will be a little more polished!
Here is the run down...Each item that is up for auction has it's own post, please comment on THAT POST to bid on THAT ITEM....All posts will be linked in this blog post to keep it from being a total hot mess! HAHA
We have over $200 in bids right now which is AMAZING! Please, if you win items, pay for them either through our chip in button over there ~~~~>
or by directly sending the money via paypal to: priscilla.morse@gmail.com
all proceeds from this auction will go to pay for our visas, the final piece of the puzzle needed before we can travel! Of course we have to submit tons-o-paperwork yet, but financially, we will be COVERED for the first trip if we can raise $600!
How amazing, to go from needing over TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS...to needing $600! We're praying for a miracle, that somehow, someway, that $600 comes to us by the 22nd of March...our sweet girls 3rd birthday. Will you please bid, donate, or pray with us? Miracles still happen...we see them everyday :)
Here are the auction items! I hope you find something you like! Just click the links above the pics to bid!
Monkey Pillowcase
Fairy Pillow Case
Ballerina Hair Bow
Frame Bow Holder 
Dry Erase Board
Letter Wall Hangings
Art Work Display 
Hand made Coasters 
World Map Art 
Personalized Chore Chart 
Key/Phone Door Knob Hanger 
Initial Wall Art 
Crayon Heart Art 
More Crayon Art 
Personalized Wall Art
Funky Gardening Spoons 
Magnetic Board 
Kitchen Towels 
Adoption Ornament 
Handmade Book Marks 
Here is the run down...Each item that is up for auction has it's own post, please comment on THAT POST to bid on THAT ITEM....All posts will be linked in this blog post to keep it from being a total hot mess! HAHA
We have over $200 in bids right now which is AMAZING! Please, if you win items, pay for them either through our chip in button over there ~~~~>
or by directly sending the money via paypal to: priscilla.morse@gmail.com
all proceeds from this auction will go to pay for our visas, the final piece of the puzzle needed before we can travel! Of course we have to submit tons-o-paperwork yet, but financially, we will be COVERED for the first trip if we can raise $600!
How amazing, to go from needing over TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS...to needing $600! We're praying for a miracle, that somehow, someway, that $600 comes to us by the 22nd of March...our sweet girls 3rd birthday. Will you please bid, donate, or pray with us? Miracles still happen...we see them everyday :)
Here are the auction items! I hope you find something you like! Just click the links above the pics to bid!
Monkey Pillowcase
Friday, March 9, 2012
Remember our craft auction please!!
Please don't forget about our awesome craft auction!!! I also want to add a ballerina bow holder with TEN bows to the auction list!! (photo of bow holder is below)...starting bid is $25, bid in increments of $1 and post your bid on this post!!! Thanks guys!!
Here are some links to refresh your craft auction memory!
http://love--conquers--all.blogspot.com/2012/02/natashas-birthday-craft-auction.html?m=0
That will give you all the info, and all the awesome items you can choose from were posted o. February 5th, so please browse through them!!!
Also don't forget the pillowcases found here:
http://love--conquers--all.blogspot.com/2012/02/new-donation-for-craft-auction-fairy.html?m=0
And here:
http://love--conquers--all.blogspot.com/2012/02/new-craft-auction-donation-peace-monkey.html?m=0
We only need $600 then we will have enough $$ for our first trip!! WOW!!! Can this craft auction net $600??? I believe it can, because with God ALL things are possible! If there is nothing you think you would like to bid on, please consider making a small donation to out chipin acct for our visa fees. :)
Auction ends on March 22nd, our sweet girls 3rd birthday! I can't think of a better present than having her mommy and daddy raise enough money to pay for the last thing we need in order to head to her country and smother her with kisses!!! :)
Please! Bid, share, pray, and donate!
Here is a pic of the bow holder, comment on this post to bid!
Here are some links to refresh your craft auction memory!
http://love--conquers--all.blogspot.com/2012/02/natashas-birthday-craft-auction.html?m=0
That will give you all the info, and all the awesome items you can choose from were posted o. February 5th, so please browse through them!!!
Also don't forget the pillowcases found here:
http://love--conquers--all.blogspot.com/2012/02/new-donation-for-craft-auction-fairy.html?m=0
And here:
http://love--conquers--all.blogspot.com/2012/02/new-craft-auction-donation-peace-monkey.html?m=0
We only need $600 then we will have enough $$ for our first trip!! WOW!!! Can this craft auction net $600??? I believe it can, because with God ALL things are possible! If there is nothing you think you would like to bid on, please consider making a small donation to out chipin acct for our visa fees. :)
Auction ends on March 22nd, our sweet girls 3rd birthday! I can't think of a better present than having her mommy and daddy raise enough money to pay for the last thing we need in order to head to her country and smother her with kisses!!! :)
Please! Bid, share, pray, and donate!
Here is a pic of the bow holder, comment on this post to bid!
Giveaway for the Bailey's!!
First and foremost, I want to apologize for the quality of my blog posts. My laptop bit the dust so I'm doing everything via my phone for a while...so bear with me!
I want to share with you a giveaway that I'm honored to be a part of for the Bailey family. For just ONE dollar you can get in on this sweet deal (and of course you can enter for free just by reposting this blog post to your Facebook page, twitter, etc).
Up for grabs is a beautiful quilt made by wonderful, talented Marj...and one of my hairbow holders, including 10 bows of your choice. Marj sells her quilts for $125 and my bow holder plus 10 bows has a value of up to $75 so if we could raise over $200 that would be amazing!!! In order to donate, you can either use the Baileys FSP which is here: http://reecesrainbow.org/29641/sponsorbailey
Or you can deposit the donation money into my chipin, (NOT FSP!!) and I will eat the paypal fees for them to help them secure more funds. Paypal fees are high so consider mailing checks as well, I'll get the address and post it later. :)
If you would like to entered, comment on this post with your name and number of entries. Here are some pics and again PLEASE forgive the quality, they are iPhone screen shots!!
I want to share with you a giveaway that I'm honored to be a part of for the Bailey family. For just ONE dollar you can get in on this sweet deal (and of course you can enter for free just by reposting this blog post to your Facebook page, twitter, etc).
Up for grabs is a beautiful quilt made by wonderful, talented Marj...and one of my hairbow holders, including 10 bows of your choice. Marj sells her quilts for $125 and my bow holder plus 10 bows has a value of up to $75 so if we could raise over $200 that would be amazing!!! In order to donate, you can either use the Baileys FSP which is here: http://reecesrainbow.org/29641/sponsorbailey
Or you can deposit the donation money into my chipin, (NOT FSP!!) and I will eat the paypal fees for them to help them secure more funds. Paypal fees are high so consider mailing checks as well, I'll get the address and post it later. :)
If you would like to entered, comment on this post with your name and number of entries. Here are some pics and again PLEASE forgive the quality, they are iPhone screen shots!!