I'm sitting our hotel room, feeling awful due to the bug I caught somewhere in Russia (Hello, Guardia...how nice to host you...not). It's 9am, I'm watching BBC World....coverage about Hurricane Sandy. I wonder if our flight to NYC is going to happen.
Moscow is a beautiful city. We are staying in the hotel for the most part, partly because of my stomach bug, partly to keep from spending money. Moscow is so expensive! It's been fun though. I'm lucky to be married to a guy who can make ANYTHING hysterical.
I've had a lot of time to reflect on this adoption journey. I'm not big on melodrama, I would rather find the humor in any given situation, so I'd be lying if I said I had some great epiphany and now everything we've been through makes sense. It doesn't. None of this makes sense to me! I've tried over and over to figure out WHY we've had so many hiccups, bumps in the road, whatever you want to call them. What is the MEANING of all of this. What is God trying to teach me? Where is the LESSON, what am I missing?!
As I sit here, and reflect, and wonder, and theorize...it hits me like a ton of bricks. All of this is happening because this is just how life rolls sometimes...peaks and valleys. Sometimes you're the windshield...sometimes you're the bug. You have two choices when life deals you a crappy hand, throw in the towel and declare you're just not strong enough for this, or put your big girl panties on and deal with it.
I'm so glad I decided to roll with the punches because the reward for doing so will be here in 28 days. I'll walk off a plane, in my hometown, with my daughter on my hip, and this nightmare of a journey will be over, and a new journey will begin.
I just have to claw my way past that finish line. I can do 28 days standing on my head, right? We have an auction starting up on the 30th to help get some of the last $$ put together so I can come back to Mother Russia and ransom my sweet girl.
So, what is the current "thing" standing between me and my kiddo? It's $3,000. Which seems so ridiculous. After all the waiting, redtape, paperwork, THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of dollars, it all comes down to $3,000. Will it come together before I head back to Kenzi's region? I certainly hope so. Will a miracle happen? Only time will tell. Maybe there really is a big lesson to be learned in this stage of the game, maybe it's faith. I have 19 days to go before I board a plane back to Kenzi's region, and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't know if the money will be there to make it happen. I'm just trusting God, and the Universe, and mankind in general to come through and make this happen for the sake of a little girl. It is taking all the faith I can muster to just pray, and watch, and hope and wait to see the pieces fall in place.
We'll hopefully have a happy ending to this story in 28 days. <3