A Lesson In Faith

My little ones have been fighting sleep hard tonight, so while waiting for them to finally give in, I spent some time reading the Bible. 

Lately I haven't been posting about my faith, because frankly with all the obstacles we've faced, I started to lose my faith a bit. I've come to realize something about faith...it's a constant. It doesn't change, even when we do, even when we try to sweep it under the rug...it's always there, and it constantly reveals itself to us even when we try to ignore it.

I've come to accept the fact that this journey we're on isn't just about saving Kenzi from a life in an institution. God is using this journey to solidify my faith, and to teach me something I need a LOT of lessons in...patience.

Many, many people fundraise a portion of their adoption, some attempt to fundraise all of their adoption costs. Wherever you fall in that spectrum, believe me I know how scary it can be, and how easy it is to become impatient when those numbers just won't budge. You get sick of hearing "the money will come"...you get sick of hearing "we'll be praying for you..." from people who could probably buy and sell your adoption 10 times over. It's frustrating, and maybe hurtful, and always scary wondering where the money for the next set of fees is coming from.

Do not give up. Even when it's hard, even when there are people trying to tear you down, plant fear in your heart, intentionally hurt you...never, ever give up. You've been put on this path for a reason, and the reason isn't just about your child. YOU will never be the same again...be open to the lessons God is trying to teach you through this journey!

When you see Bob and Jane get funded in 3 days when you've been begging for help for 6 months, don't get bitter...their journey isn't your journey and their lessons aren't your lessons. God might be working hard on some other aspect of their lives! 

I am not a patient person by nature. Obviously. If I was God would be teaching me something else along this path...but I have to fight the feelings of sadness, and sometimes jealousy, when I see things moving slower than I would like. It isn't about me, and what I want to happen when I want it to happen...it's about the bigger picture and the only way I (and YOU!) will ever feel any sense of peace is if we just hand it over to Him and say "Ok, God...I know you've got this...I'll just follow your lead" and we let go.

These verses have really helped to bring me peace tonight. I hope they'll help you as well.

Much Love, 
Cilla <3

eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality -Romans 2:7

² My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. - James 1:2-4

I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears. - Psalm 34:4

And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8