I'm a married mother of "3 1/2" ;) and the loves of my life are my faith and my family. I've grown in my faith over the last two years since my daughter's adoption, she is the reason why I started this blog in the first place, and I'm so looking forward to watching God move in my heart, and the hearts of others who follow along on our journey towards bringing home one of "the least of these". Special needs adoption is my mission field, whether I'm adopting a child myself, or helping other families get funded, or shouting for waiting children who need families to find them, and I hope you'll come along for the ride and watch what God can accomplish when we say yes to His command to care for the orphan, and go out into the world to be His hands and feet.

Apparent Project Fundraiser

Apparent Project Fundraiser

Hello :)

Hello :)

My Better Half

My Better Half

The Crew

The Crew

The New Guy

The New Guy

Before Adoption

Before Adoption

Two Years After Adoption

Two Years After Adoption

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Six Days

We are so, so happy to announce that we will be leaving in six days to go make Kenzi officially ours forever. <3 We have gone through so much to get to this point. Every single thing that could go wrong did, and even though this process has left me broken, I'm proud to say we pushed through all the roadblocks, we jumped through every fiery hoop, and somehow we came out the other side. I'll never be the same person I was before I saw Kenzi's picture last December. To be honest, I don't remember what life was like before I saw that picture. I can't imagine waking up and not have 100,000 things to do, to worry about, to cry about. I don't remember what it's like to not filter everything, to not worry about who's going to send me a nasty message because I posted a picture of my 2 year old in Chuck E. Cheese ("Why are you fundraising for your adoption when you're wasting money on your other kids?")...I don't remember what it's like to have friends I can really talk to, because everyone is so sick of this adoption process, no one wants to hear another single thing about it, yet it's consumed my life to a point that I can barely talk about anything else...so we just stop talking altogether. The process was rough, and expensive. Financially expensive, emotionally expensive...we paid a heavy price for this little girl.

And we would do it all over again tomorrow, without a second thought.


Not a single thing that we have lost has been worth what we're gaining when we hear our judge say she is ours forever. We've lost friends, we've lost family, we've lost money, sanity, and more...none of that matters. People come and go all your life, money comes and goes...she will be my daughter forever so she is worth EVERYTHING we've dealt with, and more.


I've spent the past week trying to shake off all the bad feelings I have towards various people and situations that have made this process harder than it needs to be...and today I woke up and just decided to bury it, all of it, and start fresh. None of it matters, all that's important is getting my girl home. There is so much to look forward to, so why even think about the past.


So now, it's time to get excited!!! In 6 days I'll be boarding a plane to New York City, somewhere my husband has never been. It's going to be exciting to see his reaction to the city. :) We won't have long there, but on the way home we have a layover and I found a night-time city tour and we're hoping we get to take it...he'll love it! I hate flying (mostly just the take-off...I tend to chill once we're leveled out) but it is nice to have that one on one time with Dave, even if it's just being silent, watching a movie...we don't get a lot of that at home. We absolutely love Kenzi's city...I'm so excited to get back to our cozy little hotel! We had so much fun last time just being together. We spent a lot of time just hanging out and talking, playing cards, going for walks...it was so good for our relationship and I can't wait to do it again. 

And Kenzi....sweet, precious Kenzi...I can't wait to get her in my arms again. The level to which I missed her shocked me. Yes I love her, and yes I want to make her mine forever, but in those 5 days we spent with her, it was like she had ALWAYS been mine. I fell head over heels in love with her and being separated from her has been agonizing. I hope and pray the judge has a soft heart and lets my baby come home with me so I will NEVER have to be apart from her again. 

It's so nice to feel *happy* again...to finally start coming out of my adoption funk. It's been hard, and like someone told me this process isn't for the faint of heart. It will break you, knock you down, and kick you in the stomach but it's the most incredible proof that in the end love wins, and your child comes home, and that makes it all worth it. 

Just six more days sweet girl, then we're coming to make you an orphan no more. <3

7 comments:

  1. well be praying for safe travels gods guidance and no more problems..xooxoxoxo

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  2. xoxo..God Speed....when things normalize any relationships that had been stressed and are worth it can be mended...people lose their way...but with love and understanding they can find their way back....<3

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  3. Right there with you my dear - hugs!

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  4. Why in the world would anyone be anything but happy for you and supportive of your amazing adventure to find your wonderful daughter??? God bless you, your family and your beautiful Kenzi!

    smcfarland@wcsr.com

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  5. Just keep pushing forward till you are back home with your beautiful daughter. Remember you and your family are very strong. Once home things will slowly fall in place and you will never regret making this little girl your daughter. I had the same doubts and trials when i adopted from China in 1996. My baby turned 16 this October and she is the light of my life. God works in wonderful ways that I guess we will understand when we meet him in Heaven.These trials are meant to bring out your strenghts. Hang in there. Colleen

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  6. oh i cant wait for you to get her home, ive followed your story for some time and know you have gone through a lot. she is so beautiful and i hope you and your husband have a nice time alone with each other:)

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