Happy Birthday

Dear Tasha,

Your daddy is usually the one who writes you letters, but on this extra special day, your birthday, I wanted to write to you too. I'm sorry I have never directly written TO you in the past...I've never been good with words but that is no excuse, from here on out I'll be much better about writing to you, and one day very, very soon we'll be sitting together in our big comfy chair, and I'll read all of your letters to you.

It takes a lot of work to bring you home kiddo, and you are so worth the effort, and I want you to never doubt that you have ALWAYS been worth the effort, even before you came into our lives. You are a precious gift from God, and there have probably been times, a lot of times, where you have been sad or lonely or scared and you didn't understand why you felt those things, why you were where you are right now...but all of that is ending soon and you will never have to wonder "why" again. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for how you spent the first 3 years of yours, I promise you that sweet girl. You deserve so much more than the hand you've been dealt up until now, and I'll never be able to erase the past but you're future is about to be blown wide open with possibility. We just have to be a little patient right now.

I wonder if you even know what a "birthday" is...since you've never really celebrated yours. Your birthday is the day you were born, and yours is March 22nd. Today. :) Your brother Dylan was born on March 22nd too, but a few years before you...6 years before you to be exact. On your birthday, you get to be the star of the show! Your presence on this earth is celebrated by all the people who love you, because the fact that you were born made their lives so much better! I'm so sorry you're going to miss your celebration today sweetheart, but there is going to be one in your honor. You already have birthday cards, and some presents...and I bought you a Hello Kitty cupcake with a big #3 candle on top. Your baby brother Jack will probably blow out your candle for you, then he'll probably eat your cupcake, but that's ok...next year you'll get your very own cake to smash and go NUTS with...and no one can eat that one but you, the awesome birthday girl! Usually babies smash their cake on their first birthday, but in a sense, your 4th birthday WILL be your first birthday! :)

I hope that somewhere deep inside your heart you can feel how much you're loved. I know that's hard to believe when you don't get held, or kissed, and no one cuddles you while you sleep or whispers "I love you" in your ear, but it's true, you are so very loved by so many people all over the entire WORLD...I'm willing to bet that TONS more people love your sweet little face than any of us will ever know. The number of prayers sent up to heaven for you everyday are powerful, and they're working, and mountains are being moved to get you home.

We are so, so close to meeting you for the first time. But, as is the case in a lot of adoptions, money can hold people back sometimes. You probably don't know what money is...it's paper, that's all, just pieces of paper that happen to have a value attached to them...the problem is...mommy and daddy don't have enough "pieces of paper" to come to your country right now! But...we only need a teeny tiny bit more, then we'll be on our way!

I love you sweet girl, and there is nothing I wouldn't do to get you home as soon as possible. I know your little heart is tired, and that you're tired, and you don't feel very good right now, but we're going to get all of that taken care of really, really soon. A very nice doctor is going to fix your heart when you get home, and it will make you feel like a brand new girl! We'll get there...but for now, you stay strong for us ok? Don't give up because we're coming and your life is going to be amazing, just keeping holding on a little while longer honey.

With all my heart,
Mommy